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Monthly Archives: July 2013

Open Letter to Alfred Oko Vanderpuije

Open Letter to Alfred Oko Vanderpuije

Dear Uncle Rozay,

If there is one man I like in Accra, it is you. It is people like you who give some of us hope that our future will be bright and Patience being a Virtue has got nothing to do with traits Efo’s daughters who bear the names Patience and Virtue have. One would have thought your close resemblance to Rick Ross was a mere coincidence but alas, your political punch lines could earn you a Grammy Award which is to be held in Dzelukope. I had wanted to write this letter to you earlier on when you goofed on Joy Fm, on the issues of the market fires but then your cousin’s utterances beat you to it. Sad as I was when I realized I needed to address your cousin first, I knew deep within that a day will come when your actions and inactions will let me write you a letter.  The elders say the Chameleon will never act as a lizard and you are a true living testament of this saying.  So as I write you this letter, I pray you feel the same excitement I’m feeling right now when you read it. It is that kind of excitement a typical Ga man feels when he mentions the word, ‘hundred’ without the ‘H’ being silent during an interview.

Oko Rozay, as a true fan,(though I would prefer to be an air condition), this letter is not to bash you but rather give you suggestions as to how to become a better Mayor.  Almost all your good intentions have turned into disasters or near disasters. I do not know whether this is as a result of your deep knowledge in American culture which you want to forcefully transplant into those of us living in Accra. How on earth can you rebrand a ‘koklo k)b3b3’(local chicken with no feathers on its neck and head) into a broiler? First of all, you’ve not been able to catch any of the so called arsonists you accused of setting fires to the market places. Your only achievement as a Mayor per your own rants is abolishing the shift system in government schools in Accra and apart from this, you have done ‘foko’ per your own bragging rights. The only thing you’ve done and continue to do is grant your critics more points to boil you with like Ga k)mi.  To think that Oko the Americano will become a laughing stock is not something I ever thought of .Please next time you are called for an interview, plead the fifth like a true Americano and let your works speak for you. That is if you know you are delivering on the mandate of the people.

Oko I know in Genesis, God asked Adam to name all the plants and animals and things within the earth but for heaven’s sake that was long long long ago. The rate at which you keep naming and renaming things that have already been named is rather alarming and scary. Do you in anyway feel you are ADAM?  I fear we will gradually get to a point where you’ll ask us to name one of our body parts after you or someone within you political inclination. If I may ask, did you also see Atta Mill requesting for the hockey stadium to be named after him in your dreams after a huge bowl of kokonte with ‘abenkwan’ whilst watching a marathon of Ghost Nigerian films the night before you decided to rename the Hockey stadium? I can just picture Egya Atta shaking his head from left to right now saying ‘Awww Oko! wo3 gu menyim asi’ in his thick Fante accent. Next time you feel the urge to rename something, go and take a dip in the Korle lagoon and if it does not wash away the urge then go ahead and name the thing.

There is so much I would love to say but I feel it will sink in better if we meet face to face and stroke our individual beards gently like they do in Chinese movies as we have our talk.

Your Friend,

Efo Korsi Gator.

NB. I hear Madam Theodosia who you offended be renaming the hockey stadium which was named after her as a honor for being one of the pioneers of the sport is also planning to be a pioneer in the exportation of Ghanaian human hair to Brazil and Peru and so please put your beard under lock at home when you pay a courtesy call on her to apologies for you actions. Say hi to Nii Lantey and tell him I await his response.

Illustrator: The Black Narrator.

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Posted by on July 26, 2013 in ARTICLES

 

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SEYRAM

SEYRAM

This little poem is dedicated to my BIG SISTER who has been my Mother and Father on her BIRTHDAY which is today.

Sweet as the tweets of birds at dawn

Humming the chorus of the whistling breeze

Heard by the itchy ears of the green leaves

About the songs the waters of the streams sing to the land

 

Elegant as the moon in its full queenly regalia

Surrounded by its counsel of stars and galaxy

You brighten every corner with your love and blessing

A true gem to all

 

Youthful as a candle burning in the thick blankets of darkness

You are a woman after God’s heart

Faith rooted in every cell of you well-crafted body

And every breath you take is praise to the Lord.

 

Royalty undefined ; daughter of Zion

Nobility is a gown you wear to reflect the grace

Bestowed on you by the heavenly father

Well of beauty and charm that soothes the soul

 

African beauty with brains

Home maker with a golden touch

Comforter with a big heart

A true blessing for Mawuga

 

My big Sister

My Friend

My critic

My girlfriend

My Dad

My Mom

Mother of my niece and nephew

Wife of my brother-in-law

My blood.

My family

A woman worth celebrating

 

 
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Posted by on July 19, 2013 in Poems

 

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Love Me (Letter for the one who makes my heart PAUSE and BEAT)

Love Me (Letter for the one who makes my heart PAUSE and BEAT)

Mine,

I’m not a person who loves to write letters but as circumstances will have it I believe its high time I write you this letter just to let you know this open secret that is emulating from within my soul. Any average guy will give up on two strong rejections but believe me I have never seen myself as anything average. I recount my earlier attempts to get us to start dating and most importantly I remember the answer you gave me the last time I tried.

You said ‘ I pray you find someone better than me be cause as for me I’m waiting on the Lord to give me directives to the Man I’ll marry‘ Well for your information the is no better person for me than you. To be frank with you it took me seconds to realize that indeed as at then I was not ready to be handed a gem like you and not wanting to be like the proverbial Pig in the Bible who knows not the value of a pearl I withdrew so as to allow god prepare me more adequately for you.

Sweetheart, to be frank with you as I have always been,endurance and resilience are not inherent traits I possess but my association with you has been a more than positive turning point.You words of encouragement and belief in me are things that linger in my soul and push me to be the best I can be.Look we’ve been friends for so long that your opinion matters so much  to me and this you know so well. It is said that the best marriage anyone can have is one with someone who has been a friend for a long time and I believe we can be an epitome of this.

My Love,Every morning I wake up with a huge smile on my face not because I have had a good night sleep but rather just being aware that my heart beats for you.Just the thought of how special you are to me and how i pray for you more than I pray for myself  makes me jealous at times. No one makes me laugh the way you do and no on makes me as angry as you do especially when you don’t answer my calls. Moreover no ones’ encouragement and belief in me can be compared to yours.With you I am and will always be me.I  love you so much that is is more than difficult  just to pin point reasons why my emotions run deep when you are the subject matter.

Sweetness, all I want you to know is that I’m convinced now more than ever that you are indeed the woman I need and must have in my life because I see you continue to grow into the virtuous woman whose praise I want to and will always want to sing as a Husband. You’ve brought so much meaning and purpose to my life that I sleep and wake up with you not just on my mind but  inside every living cell of my body.If I had my own way I will always be by your side every second not just to ease my mind but also to draw more inspiration from you.

You are indeed my world,My life and my Everything.I LOVE YOU form the Depth of my SOUL and HEART.So all I ask is you give us a chance and lets see where the Good Lord will take us to based on our commitment,love and respect for each other and what we share.

Love you like life.

Efo Koku Gator

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2013 in Fiction

 

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