RSS

Tag Archives: Hardship

OLD SOLDEIR,THE PUNISHER

OLD SOLDEIR,THE PUNISHER

There was a loud hush across the court room as I stepped into the docket to defend myself. I do not remember that last time I smiled, for life had not given me too many chances to do so but here I was smiling sheepishly to the judge as he asked me whether there was anything I had to say before my sentencing since I had opted for no lawyer to defend me during this trail. Aside politicians, lawyers were the next people I loathed with a passion. How they can insist something is white when we all see is as black and still get away with this baffles me. Moreover the more money you have the more convincing your lawyer is and so someone will steal five fingers of plantain and get sentenced to 5 years in prison whilst our politicians steal our monies and go scot free. And so with a little shivery but firm voice these were my words before the sentencing.

‘Your Honor, I can still feel my hand still vibrating from the slap I gave the Member of Parliament on his face that floored him. For some awkward reason the accompanying pain in my knuckles feels sensational. All the anger that has built up within me over the years found an outlet and indeed it was unfortunate that it had to be his face. I can sense the surprise look on your faces but I think it was just the right time to put him in his place. I am old and may not understand your modern ways of life but I will not sit down any longer and see a small boy in the name of politics literally hang the under pants of his mother on a pole, fly it at full mast at the market place with pride, call his father impotent and expect people like me to clap for him. Nonsensical nonsense!! Your honor, pardon my French expression.

Your honor, I have served this country with my sweat and blood. At age 18 I was drafted into the army to go to fight in the world war. My testicles were pinched hard every week for a month to make sure I had no hernia and I was fit for battle before we were shipped of like a tin of sardines. Lives were lost on our way to India by ship and I saw friends’ dead bodies tossed overboard into the sea without paying them homage.

When we got to India, rumours went round among the Indians that we are cannibals, chop people and have tails So when we went to bathe in the streams, people asked us not to take our pants off in case they would be frightened by our tails. I survived all the derogatory names that came as a result of these rumours. In the Burmese jungle there was something we called tiger leech. It’s very small, very thin. If it gets to your body it sucks your blood and get bigger and bigger. So we used a cigarette end or a match on the under of that thing to take its fangs out. But if you don’t do that, but just pull it off, the fangs will stay within your body, rot in your skin and go bad – very bad.’

If you are in a war you forget everything. There was no time to pray. This jungle war was not a child’s play – it was something very dangerous, I have seen friends and acquaintances die with their intestines gushing out as though we are at an abattoir. I have choked on and somehow lost my sense of smell because of my exposure to the stench of burnt decomposing human flesh and lead that tore ones nose away from the freedom of fresh air. Experiencing war makes you a different person. You leave behind every civilian attitude, every gentle attitude that you ever had. You forgot … everything. After the war, they did not let us come home straight away. They gave us two good months, with money, to go to any part of India. It was something to refresh us, to let us come back to a human being. An action I still up till now do not understand.

Your Honor, when I came back, all the remunerations that were to be paid us were never paid. To make matters worse my wife whom I had married before my enlistment left me for Efo Dzidefo the corn mill operator behind the cathedral because she could not stand my screaming at night due to the nightmares. To make myself employable, I worked as a laborer on farms and paid for numerous private teachers to teach me

I have been called hideous names and hear rumours about myself that I knew nothing of and surprises me like a mouse caught in a trap just because of a bait of roasted fish head yet I have never for once reacted violently towards anyone in this community. But alas, your honor, the actions of the MP over the years has become the blisters on the soles of my feet that had dragged patience off my bed. I have seen governments come and go, I have met minister and MPs from different regimes but honestly speaking, the disrespect of this young man who can be my great grandson not only towards me but towards this entire community stinks like the flatulence of a pregnant woman who has had her fair share of boiled beings with egg and washed it down with a snack of ‘wagashi’ and ‘di na ta’ milkshake. Last election he promised to make sure the local LA school was fixed and stocked with the relevant textbook, he promised to make sure the was a scholarship for brilliant students from this village, he promised to fix the road for us and make sure we had good drinking water if we voted him as our MP. Me I do not trust him oooh because aside all the empty promises all he brought to us solicit for our votes was four bars of key soap. Your honor, four bars of keysoap for a community of four hundred people. After he won the elections, ask him when the last time he came here was or whether we have seen the shadows of his promise?

Now that it is time for another election he rides in his big car into this community that breastfed him into who he is, choking us with clouds of dust and comes blinking like a malfunctioning disco watch to solicit for votes.

Your honor if you are working very hard to look after a lean man who says he is a sickling and this man begins to win snoring contests against the plump you at night, then something is wrong somewhere. I do not regret slapping him. At age 88 there are quite a number of thing I regret in life but not slapping the idiot. In fact, If I get the chance again I will slap him or any other politician that takes the citizenry for granted. I am tired of all this nonsense and so your honor If you will sentence me make sure it is to death because at least there I will have my piece of mind.’

 

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 30, 2014 in Fiction

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Unapologetic Open Letter to Brig Gen. Nunoo rtd

Unapologetic Open Letter to Brig Gen. Nunoo rtd

Dear General,

It has never been my intention to write to you but with your rants over the last four days I can’t ignore you inasmuch as I want to. Let me first apologies on behalf of the good people of Ghana for tolerating the likes of you as leaders. Well the good news is, just as you do not give a hoot about the plight people are going through in the hands of your government, I give a hoot about what you said hence my willingness to write you this letter. Now in order for us to have this conversation I will crave you indulgence to allow me call you by pet names I have coined out of you names. This will bring out my level headedness and prevent me from saying things I will apologies for.

Uncle Nunu, hehehehehe your name alone should even get you to feature in a nunu milk television or radio commercial. At least you would be in the media for a good reason, promoting the drinking of milk rather passing provoking politically inclined comments. I can just picture you refusing a cup of tea without nunu milk, not being apologetic about it and your dialogue being something like ‘Either give me nunu milk or get out’. Epic!

Enough said about your name.  It is said that in every house there is a Mensah and so if for you think you are the only Mensah in Ghana then you indeed do not know how to tickle yourself for the right effect.  We all know it is easy to get talked about in the media, just say something foolish in the name of politics and you’ll make the headlines. But did you have to stoop so low to join the ranks of Ayariga, Akua Donkor , Oko Rozay and Kof Wayo? If you think you will still maintain you rank of a Brigadier General among them, then you are mistaken, for ‘Herselency’ Ekua Donko will not entertain it at all.(Free advise)

By the way, Nunuuu Miliky, just as you, I have not eaten the whole day and there are no oranges growing where I am so no orange juice for me. See how fortunate you are? I do not expect you to sympathize with me for you are a tough person. At least that’s what you tell yourself in your mind. You see, the difference between you and I is that, your choice of orange juice is not because you do not have options but because that is what you chose to have. How then can you call that sarcrifice? My choice of not having breakfast is as a result of me just being able to afford a meal a day. The funny thing is that my late uncle I Know My Redeemer Liveth also used the phrase’ I have not eaten the whole day’ whenever he wasn’t served his favorite bowl of Yakeyake and so it makes it hard for me to believe you. After all, just as you he was a security expert and security experts are known to be good lairs. Oooh yes!  In his one-man village, he was the chief security expert.

Now my good old Don Nunoo, unless you are willing to provide the ram miraculously for the sacrifice do not ask us to sacrifice our sons for we are no Abrahams. I wonder if you understand the word sacrifice after hopping from one political party to the other for your own convenience based on which of them is in power. If you think building a classroom block is sacrifice then think again.  Sacrifice is when you have to queue in the scorching sun to vote for people who win power and are mismanaging the country. Sacrifice is working for 22 months without pay and you are only paid for two months because you threatened a strike action. Sacrifice is when you have tariffs increased by people who do not pay tariffs and they expect you to be cool with it. Sacrifice is when the cost of living is so unbearable yet before you go to bed you pray that things would get better for you are doing your possible best for it to be so. To be honest with you, aside you riding in your V8 with a motorcade leading you at the expense of the taxpayer; we really do not know what you do as a security advisor. By the way I thought security persons are discreet so why the rants and insults?  Do you know that one of the highest forms of indiscipline is leaving your designated job to do another person’s job? Even Fifi Kwetey no longer does propaganda but finance.

Instead of you advising the President on how a beauty pageant called Miss Buy Ghana is exploiting Ghanaian girls in Brazilian and Peruvian weaves as contestants you are saying ‘Gbeshi’ things that if we feel the country is too hot for us we should leave.  If you get angry and want me to apologies, please note that, I am relocating from Anyako to Dzelukope and I’m not obliged in any way to apologies.

Your not amused new friend,

Efo Korshi Gator.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on October 22, 2013 in ARTICLES

 

Tags: , , , ,