Tag Archives: Spirituality

My Chronicles 3 (Life of a battered young woman)

My Chronicles 3 (Life of a battered young woman)


Its crazy how writing about my story with Pastor Fred bothers me a lot but this is a major chapter in my life that I need not over look because at the end of the day, it is my prayer that any of you who finds yourself in this kind of situation will at least know that you are neither the first nor the last to experience this. I have read most of your reactions and I know what most of you feel for me is neither sympathy nor pity. Most of you feel I’m stupid to allow myself go through all these things just like my mother did and there is no way I hold these against you. Somehow, her experiences made her more inclined towards the belief that her problems and my problems in relation to men was more spiritual that psychological hence her decision to introduce to Pastor Fred. Our relationship started out like a lost sheep and a caring shepherd who had found the once priced sheep in the most devastating state and trying everything within his power to restore the sheep to its past glory. With the zeal I was working with in the house of the lord, the Church snatched me up to groom me into a wife, teach me ministry etiquette, and give me face time with my pastor so I could “counsel” with him and make sure my decisions were ran through him before I did anything major in life.

To be frank, Fred was a rock star of a growing church…worshipped by many. He came from a gambling and petty background that fed his appetite for the carnal things according to him. He got “saved” and sought a leadership position and was a very talented guy who rose through the ranks quickly. He was very comfortable in the spotlight and extremely charismatic and he actually seemed like a nice guy on the surface though some have reported he can be a jerk…but so can we all at times. Normally I would not date a baldhead man who had a potbelly, which was competing with his head for attention but getting to know (at least that’s what I thought) him more made his body structure the least of my worries. He has this fashion sense that was on point and very admirable. Most often in my conversations with him, he’d tell me how he felt very blessed and privileged to be ‘saved’ just like certain Bishops and Arch Bishops who had similar backgrounds as his. And most often than not, there was this eternal glow that came from within him and shone in his eyes when he talked about his dream of becoming on of the top Pastors in the country.

Gradually our relationship developed into one of admiration and affection towards each other and since he was not married it felt prudent to start a relationship that will lead to marriage. The initial idea was to practice a no sex before marriage but as ‘body no be firewood’ so we found ourselves shagging left right and center like a maracas in the hands of a charismatic praises leader. At church it was an open secret that Pastor Fred and I were dating and this drew its fair share of admiration and envy but to me this was the life I felt God was preparing me for. Little did I know that there was a huge catch to this when he was exposed hiding behind the veneer that he was something he wasn’t.

It started one Sunday afternoon. I had gone to his place to prepare him lunch and supper as had become the ritual. Half way through preparing the foods I heard a knock on the door. I left everything I was doing, went to open the door only to see an angry looking at the door. When I told her he was not yet back from church after she enquired about his whereabouts, then she half shoved me out of the way as she made her way towards the bedroom. I was confused. Who was this? Was this a family member I did not know? Was this a test to see how humble or rude I was? Ten minutes afterwards Fred came home from church and before I could report to him he speed off to the bedroom. What I saw when I entered the bedroom was indeed more than a shock. Here was Fred on his knees begging the lady for forgiveness and the only response he got were to heavy slaps on both cheeks. When I rushed to defend him, he smacked me on the face and asked that I leave the room. The lady went into the kitchen and dumped all the food I was preparing into the dustbin and walked out. I will later on discover that this was a lady Fred had promised marriage, duped and dumped just two months into our relationship after he verbally assaulted me for coming to his rescue. He called me worthless, stupid, an animal that deserved no mercy and in some instances found a way of even insulting me in his preaching. During mid week service after this incident, told the congregation that the Lord had given him directives that the President of the Youth Ministry, me was to do dry fasting for two weeks in anticipation of a fruitful youth week celebration since as the leader, I needed to be sanctified and holy to lead ‘my people’ during that period.

The straw that broke ‘this camel’s’ back was when he called me an idiot in front of other church members for disagreeing with him on a program line up for the youth ministry of which I was the President. When this was raised at a church leadership meeting he charmed his way out of the truth. In some weird twisted way, the other leaders got sprinkled with fairy dust and it blinded them, and I was deemed as crazy, grabbing for attention, and trying to tear down God’s work.  Certain people who I held in high esteem and confided in them will later on betray me by concocting lies about me to the extent that one Sunday half way through his preaching he stopped and said that the spirit of the lord had directed him to break up with me and also demote me as the president of the youth ministry. According to him there were some ancestral demons that were working through me to bring down the church and that I needed prayers. I was hauled by three strong ushers for the whole church to pray for me when I refused to come forward for prayers when he demanded I do so. After this, I consulted a lawyer friend of mine who agreed to sue Pastor Fred and the church for abuse on my behalf. When the affidavit was served them they went to see my mother to ask me to drop the charges with the promise of reinstating me as a member of the church, president of the youth ministry and fiancée Fred. I found this to be very laughable and told my mother to go tell them that they could offer me the whole world; I would still go ahead to sue them. When the saw that I was not barging, they counter sued me for financial malfeasance and fabricated stories on how I had duped some members of the church. As I write this, the cases are still in court and they do not look like winning anything. Next week I’ll tell you about how everything changed for me.







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Posted by on April 11, 2014 in Fiction


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Jesus What Is Your BB Pin?(The Church and Interactive Media)

Last night Jesus came as he promised to and instead of him riding on a horse with angels by his side blowing trumpets for believers to be ruptured, he was rather  texting, tweeting, whatsapping, rapture request sending, BBMing, Skyping from his smart phones but a lot of us missed it because our individual telecommunications network had problems with the network coverage more over ECG took the lights for 48 hours and so some of us were not able to charge our phones and telecommunication devices and so for a second chance “text the correct answer to this question to the short code 2383 on all networks ‘which side of Adam did God remove the rib to create Eve?’ Terms and conditions apply.” This may sound blasphemous but there are days I feel to the average Ghanaian church goer, who insists on being referred to as a Christian this would be ideal situation based on how technologically our worship of God has become and sadly this is how low we have desecrated our faith.

       Growing up, church had always been a community thing for me. It was that one day in the week which afforded me the chance to worship God and still be with family, friends and really be close to people I looked up to spiritually. This kind of environment made it possible for me to have real human relationships and do practical things when it came to serving the Lord. Over the years I have gradually seen this closely knitted human institution where we gathered and could actually feel the spirit of the Lord amongst us disintegrate into something I fear is making us lose the favor of the Lord due to how we use technology in terms of telecommunication and social media. I know a certain school of thoughts will say technology has aided us in taking the word of God to the doorsteps of individuals and in a way I will agree with them but personally I feel we are losing the human element  that comes with congregating to serve the Lord.

These days aside the runway dressing most of the ladies take to church, you find most people holding iPads, iPhones, galaxy tabs, black berries and other smart phones instead of Bibles and immediately the Pastor says ‘can we please turn our Bibles to the book of John’, people start fidgeting with theses gadgets but trust me more than half are checking football updates, facebook or twitter updates, fashion sites, snapping pictures and chatting with others in the same building.

Mind you, the Pastor himself is flipping through his sermon pages on an iPad and this I must confess is the advanced way of serving God. Offertory and tithes will sooner than later be paid via mobile money transfer and either facebook, skype, whatsapp aside other social media platforms will be used for meetings instead of having that human contact since venturing into the physical world is a pain and waste of time. So we choose this a state of cultural obesity brought on by the isolation of self-indulgence. Because most of us choose to live in and are part of this culture, we cannot help but be affected by these things. The options that are offered to us are really too many to process adequately and so in this kind of situation most of us will choose the easiest option, the “path of least resistance” approach.

Contrary to those days when young persons modeled their behavior on those people who were close to them in proximity, such as parents, teachers, pastors, and leaders in the community but now they are confronted with so many virtual role models who know absolutely nothing about them.

I know some people will argue that we have succeeded is in text evangelism and fulfill the part of the scriptures that says go into the world and spread the gospel but the question is how many of these text messages have been more effective that the door to door of community to community evangelism that was done in those days preaching about salvation and giving reverence to God and Christ in all our endeavors?  Most often than not most of these text messages lack the spirit of the understanding of God’s words. I personally envisage that in the next year or two we will start getting random text messages from these prominent churches saying ‘for financial miracle, text FM to short code 1123, for marriage Miracle text MM to short code 1123 and for any other miracle text *name of miracle* to 1123. The Lord is closer to you than you think’.

The interesting thing I have also noticed is churches evaluate themselves by the same standards as those used by the culture of technology. Because technology provides immediate information and feedback, churches have begun to operate on a fad or poll basis. Whatever the latest fad is or whatever the latest trend predicted by the polls happens to be, that is where the church is going. Because our technical driven culture requires efficiency, convenience, and entertainment, then the Church must provide that. Soon, opinion polls on what kind of sermon, who the preacher should be, what kind of song ministrations among others will be thrown out there for congregants to vote on and the majority will carry the day based on the polls’ result.

I may be wrong or right, but in all these, I pray the Lord directs our paths to make decisions that won’t see us departing from his grace and mercies all because we choose to social media interact with him rather than speak to him in the physical and spiritual realm for Christianity to me has never been about convenience or safety. God calls us to leave our comfort zone, interact face-to-face with people, and go out as “sheep among wolves”. We cannot hope to win the approval of the world by adopting the ways of the world and so we need to be vigorous and not stationary in doing God’s work

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Posted by on October 9, 2012 in ARTICLES


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